Haha! A year is going to go by again. I wonder why I even celebrate my birthday. To thank God for my birth. To celebrate me coming onto this world. I am happy God gave me this life. But if people forget I get hurt. So what is the point. Now I am crying when I told myself that I wouldn't cry. I have to accept this. However I am thankful for the ones who have remembered. I don't have to worry about people reading this post because no one reads my blog, its just for my memory. To remind myself not to be so immature. I rather this day not come. But after this day it will be forgotten and when it comes again I will get sad. I'm 17 this year I should be mature. But I act like a spoilt child.
I thank God for giving me friends like Laura, Lene, Cher, Jo Jo, Nana, Jewel, Sk and Teri. They were the first to wish me. The present Laura, Lene, Cher, Jo Jo and Na gave me gave me hope. However, that was about all I get. I am most thankful for Laura despite the fact we argue and insult each other and the fact I suck at comforting her but the only thing I can do is give her a shoulder to cry on. I guess Carol forgot my birthday since she never talked to me at all. For that I was most hurt. Alicia forgot my present. I tell myself its ok but in truth its not its as good as forgetting people's birthday. I wonder why I try so hard to make my class people's birthday a good one. Besides people wishing me birthday and giving me a birthday song, I had nothing else except a card from Vic. I thank her for that. It gave me hope as well. I have to get a hold of myself. Tears keep pouring out. Am I being egotistical. Today was no different from any other day. I think my own father forgot. I have to tell myself that its ok. But even if I tell myself that my heart feels differently.
I thank my family still for giving birth to me and raising me. My brother cares about me a lot. Last year, when I was crying he comforted me not directly but I am thankful for it. My mom sent me an sms this morning, Ruby che che too. Godma sent me my card already. No matter what she gets me I am always happy.
Tomorrow there is a economics test but I just don't feel like studying. Am I allowed to? I think besides dying, my greatest fear is to not be loved.
I think I'm afraid not to tell anyone in my class about my blog because I'm afraid of what they think of me when they read my entries. I guess I'm afraid of what they think when they think when they read stuff like what I want to write now. I shouldn't be afraid. I wonder if my class cares about my birthday or is because its like a chore they have to do?
When I see the word 3th August, I feel afraid. I'm afraid of what would happen. I guess this is my present to myself.The Birthday SongCorrinne MayDon't worry about that extra lineThat's creeping up upon your faceIt's just a part of nature's way to say you've grown a little moreTrees have rings and thicker branchesKids shoes get a little tighterEvery year we're getting closer to who we're gonna beIt's time to celebrate the story of how you've come to beHappy Birthday, my friendHere's to all the years we've shared togetherAll the fun we've hadYou're such a blessingSuch a joy in my lifeMay the good Lord bless youAnd may all your dreams come trueSo light a candle on your cakeFor every smile you've helped createFor every heart and every soul You've helped to grow a little moreA few more pounds, a little more greyDont count the years, just count the wayIt takes a little time to go from water into wineDont ever lose the wonder of that child within your eyesHappy Birthday, my friendHere's to all the years we've share togetherAll the fun we've hadYou're such a blessingSuch a joy in my lifeMay the good Lord bless youAnd may all your dreams come true
-Fear not for the future, weep not for the past-
grace
8:54 PM
